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Grandma Is That U?

Posted on April 6, 2009 at 1:25 PM

This is my way of keeping a smile on my face when issues of life seem to make me depressed. I just write about things in my path trying to have fun with it..... Some of us to willing to give up to much personal info but others looking that erotic adventure without for-thought or the pain sure to follow. All I eva ask is that my family and friends think about who U giving info or willing to hook up with... Just be safe!

 

"Grandma Is That U "

 

Hey babie, yea its me and a Grandma. It all started when I decided to open up this page online my grandson turn me on to so I keep up with U young folks. They say between the ages is that fine line between being a genus and a fool. Still I took him up on his offer. In person meeting people as long as they just stroll up to me I'm fine. U come looking like U waisted your best days. I might have to chase U off. Online though its so not like that. I see online one loves to chat and show your ... how old are U and have U lost your dam mind comes to mind pictures... See in my day U took pictures we had on more cloths than U own now. Our language was the same but different words. U held your tongue wit babies around or the dumb and stupid U know what I mean. Babies U must lead them not follow. Dumb and Stupid is Pandora's box leaning. Dumb implies U not book smart. Oh but Stupid... lol... That implies no amount of street smarts or education in your life at all. U have to be conscious to be stupid and I bet U fined some not.

 

Anyway I was on this page about to send a note when I got one. It said..."Hey ma, holla."... I'm like who the hell is this? Ain't got no child step to me that way. So it took me a few hours to figure out how to reply. In the mean time I got another message and another message. Till my box filled up. I know its filled up cause it says so. "Filled Up" Come up there big as day. Anyway! Day comes when I figure out the dam reply, type, spell check, size, font, send things to do. Combinations that works responding to the many messages now filling my mail box. I thought well hell all those nice boys asking me for a date, if I got pic's, what I have on, would I do this and that with their toys, what kinda music I like. Sounded like they really do care about me and fun folks. That I'm a lovable person they really do want to know. So just like in the past when your friends do nice things and life is good. U send them an invite to come over and meet U and your friends. So that's what I did. See I found out that I could make up a nice card and thought I would. Put what U young folk do being creative when U talk. It said..."U said I could holla back thought I would. Me and my girls having a thang at the crib! U invited! Bring yo crew through the back of the house its where we at.

 

Then the work to figure out just who I would invite of my friends. Now the boys all seem lively. So I thought my friends I invite should have that personality to. So lets see... There is Lily... now she was a smoker in her day. We talking back to back daily all her dam life. So much so her lips look like she pulling on something when she not. Not able to whisper now but loves to laugh with breath to kill...note to get her some breath drops... There is Janet... No not that call me nasty girl Jackson. She the one didn't know when to let it rip. No this Janet is about the size of that Janet in both nipples U ask me. I always said she having so many dam kids kept them dam things full of milk. No telling what the rest of her body look like. Little different with wrinkles though.. Then there is Mickie... Now Mickie back in the day thought she could dance. Problem was she had no rhythm and drank to many times. Over time she bust her ass so much she looks like the mack truck that hit her late one night. Lord have mercy the more of my friends I invited the more I got depressed. I thought about why. Old Age! Each in our day we where hot fly women full of courage to strut our stuff proudly. I'm still proud we lived and in a time when U allowed to. So I got up did what I needed to do with pep in the pain of my steps, just to bring things together about by the pool.

I went out fill all my prescriptions didn't want to be in need during my own party. Even call my friends made sure they did the same. Stop next door where that child blast all that hip hip music every dam day to ask her to DJ. So we have a strong mix of dance music for them able to. I took me a nap then dressed just in time before my friends started to arrive. While we waited I was ask where I met my new friends coming to the party. I told them my grandson got me a computer and told me I could met people and make friends online and that's what I did. None of us drink that much anymore but we started sipping on some real old moon shine. I should have known better to with old heads use to tossing them back. They spike the punch and soon the music was up and we was laughing. All of a sudden we hear loud music blasting up the drive way. I had some young girls taking keys and parking cars down the road because its a narrow street and didn't want them to get towed. Soon the house fills up and now we got my new friends coming in the house drinking the spike punch in side. Out side I had my old friends drunk acting like they reborn. Then I heard..."Where all the fine women at?" Hearing this me and my drunk ass yell back...."Hear we is come find us." .... Some body thought it be fun to turn off the lights. Down low making it romantic maybe a little to low. I'm talking dam near off and nobody could see shit.

 

Everybody inside joined us outside in the yard and it ways I must say a festive time feeling our way around trying to introduce ourselves. The guys pulling the girls who seem to be a little shy but they was just slow getting on them drunk old feet. Reminded me of them blue light, red light parties back in the day. When U bump and grind under a light of color. I'm telling U it was on out there in that back yard. That's till it was time to call it a night. I was tired and well I met a man name Big Papa. We chat it up every night online. He taught me so much about being online and the language I should use. So when we found each other in the dark it was me thanking him and him trying to make me his woman. Now I hadn't had a man sense. Well hell I don't know but it was a long time. He brought out things in me I hadn't remembered. Made me feel a few things I thought illegal to try. Got me so hot and excited almost lost my mind. I just couldn't take it no more and didn't want my friends to know. So I thought to myself it was time to end the party. Like in the day when mama said... "light on at 11pm, and everybody goes straight home." So I told my man to ease on up to my bed room and slide under the covers. That I would follow as soon as I sent everybody home.

 

As the door closed behind him I turned off the music got my camera then announced the party was now over. Then I flip the switch to the flood lights blinding everybody with it and me taking pictures of all who came. Well I did try to apologize but as their focus and vision came back it was a bit like horror movie fright night. U know when the beautiful woman making love to the guy turns into a monster. I never heard so many cuss words mix with thank U Lord's before. It didn't take long at all to clear the yard. The men didn't even wait for their cars and the women all lived close danced their way home happy as hell. Yelling back at me... "That was your best party every."... I didn't linger to long waving goodbye. My man was waiting and I had just enough energy left. On my way up the stairs I picked up my digital camera that came with the computer my grandson gave me. He told me it would adjust to the light in the room all I had to do was put it on the counter and set it to take video's or pictures. Well this was such a special occasion I thought I would use the video.

 

I could hear him hum one of the songs play by some rapper he made me dance to..."U my bitch this and that"... so I played it and crawled under the covers. I was on top of him about to do my thing. That's when he said..."Hey ma let me see what U working wit."... So I pulled the blanket off as I began to rock his world. He was speechless. The sounds that man made woke the neighborhood. I think we even got in to thug sex because we was all ova the bed and room. I chased him all ova the house having my way. He was so dam drunk off that moonshine and I filmed the best porn movie I ever had that night. When I woke up the next day he was just laying there looking like he was in a coma. I try to feed him give him coffee juice, but he couldn't or wouldn't eat or drink nothing. Hell he didn't move at all till I said well maybe we should have sex again. I must have been to much for him. He got up and ran out. Didn't get dressed or nothing. No goodbye. No I call U. Nothing. I just took it for a sign of the times. Just like I did when I open my email box and found a reply from all my new and old friends. The old ones saying let us know when U doing that shit again. The new ones saying we will pay U anything U ask to buy up all the pictures taken and more for any video's made with all the copy's.

 

So I called my grandson and told him he was right I did meet people and took pictures of the party. I also told him they wanted the pictures, but didn't say they wanted to buy them. He told me..."Grandma, U have so many who want them it be easier if U post them online for free. That way I can learn to do it and they can copy the shots they want." Well he walk me through it and it took time between each one to get it right because my dam phone after each one kept ringing. I stop picking the phone up because each time it sounded like some crazy people playing on the dam phone. Hell I stop picking it up and kept loading pictures. By the time I was done with the pictures I heard this car pulling in my drive way. It was my man acting like he couldn't wait to see me. So I rushed to the door and opened it. He was crying did U post the video yet did U post the video yet over and over. I told him know it was next.

 

That's when he beg me not to put it online. Telling me he would give me everything I wanted if I didn't. He would do anything I ask. Now I'm a smart woman no fool. Hear before me is a man who sober younger than expected. Bless with a body to die fore. Why wouldn't I take him up on his offer, but I wanted him to agree to my terms first. I was thinking he was old fashion and shy the reason he didn't want the video online. So I had him to agree as long as he kept mami satisfied with the loving. I wouldn't post our erotic event online. Dam boy kept me happy right up to this very second. Thing I don't get though is my grandson. See after he talk me through loading the pictures online over the phone. Hours later he call and all he could say is...." Grandma, is that U?" Over and over. Its been years now and still that's all he can say... "Grandma, is that U?" I just holla back wit a grin on my face. "Sure is!"

Categories: Laugh With Me

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